I got pimples on my forehead again! Curse you period! Why must you bother me with pimples when you have not even come yet?! No wonder girls get PMS pre and post. Cause you caused the pimples and it takes time to heal! Curse you~ >:(
No only you give me pimples.. You give me dry skin too. Curse the female hormones! Haha I think I have an overdose of hormones. The skin around my nose gets so dry it tears. And it hurts! Of course, some ignorant and deaf people will think it's whitehead when I clearly explained that it's skin. Well.. What to do? Then pimples are caused by male hormones I guess. (Why don't all males have pimples then?) Can't they just decide on one only? It's so annoying. It doesn't even neutralize anything! (Or maybe my body is just weird)

Depression soon~! 
Early in the morning, rumors of Eunhyuk forced to stop activities and cannot explain scandal and is going to get sent off to Army. Seriously? SME is so stupid. If they're dating, then yes, they're dating. What's there to hide? IU is perfectly fine as a dating partner. Cute and everything. Not like Eunhyuk's dating DongHae for real, which means he's gay, or like he's dating a granny or something. Why is the management so uptight about it? It doesn't make sense! Grow up people! It's just dating and some.. inappropriate scandal. It's not like your artists consists of robots that don't love or lust. They're humans too. And I personally think that artists are one of the most desperate people around. They need the most love. It's tough.

Or maybe SME is just disappointed that Eunhyuk is straight. Since they're so adamant on the Suju boys are gay thing. Fan service is one thing, personal life is another thing. I mean, out of all 13 in Suju, everyone has the gay image. All of them are coupled up. (Which goes the same for DBSK, but not as bad. I will talk about it later on) 
Heechul is married to Siwon? But he occasionally has affairs with HenGeng? (=.=)
Eunhyuk is Donghae's. (For whatever reasons.. They're just best friends anyway.)
Eetuek is KangIn's. (Though people have already forgotten about it since KangIn's gone for too long. Omma Appa? Rings a bell?)
Then.. We have the random ones like YeWook (Yesung and Ryeowook: the odd pair), KyuMin (Kyuhyun and Sungmin: the normal ones. They're really just brothers).

And then there's Changmin and Kyuhyun, which is the worse pair ever cause they'er both evil. But at least they're cutely evil. Not rumored to be gay couple or what.
I wished I didn't know any about this. Fan service is.. weird sometimes.

Then.. DBSK is famous for YunJae and YooSu, sometimes even soul mate and soul fighter. The rest of the pairings are just normal bromance. Yup.
YunJae- probably the worse thing that ever happened. Well.. Even sometimes I'm doubting Jaejoong's sanity as a man. Him standing beside Yunho, he looks too much of a woman. (Why is Yunho so manly?!). Then.. well.. rumors: They're dating. But it's funny yet weird isn't it? Thinking of them dating is like.. HAHAHA My Jaejoong's is a MAN. For goodness sake.
But looking at them in the perspective of brotherhood, yes, they're awesome. Like the best friendship out there. (But too bad.. you know what I mean) Maybe they do secretly meet up or have phone calls.. No one knows. 

YooSu- is plain cute. If you manage to see them as a dating couple, then.. you're very imaginative and delusional. YooSu is honestly, really, seriously just plain bromance. And plain, too cheesy bromance. They're fluffy and funny. They do stupid thing together and tease each other. (On screen, it is) Yup, it looks healthy enough. No more comments. I like YooSu. It reminds me of me and my close friend. Are we gay as well? 

Soul mate- consists of Jaejoong and Yoochun. Plain bromance too. And maybe a pillar of support too. These two replies on each other so much, I think they'll die without each other. Haha
Pretty much healthy.

Soul fighter- Jaejoong and Changmin. I think.. they're just showing love by trying to kill each other. Yes, this must be it. The famous one touch came from them. They're pretty funny in their own way. Makes me laugh when they fight and argue.. Not healthy at all. Killing each other is not healthy. Especially when Changmin got so much stronger and taller now. (But too bad also..secretly they meet up to beat the crap out of each other. You'll never know) Oh, this couple got famous because Jaejoong kissed Changmin when the latter didn't want to wake up. I mean.. do you see me kissing people because they're a lazy sleepyhead? No. So Jaejoong is just.. GAY! Haha Nah, I'm kidding. He just loves Changmin the most. It's easy to tell. (Secretly, I think he's bisexual. I think everyone agrees)

Bathing time! Maybe this coming year is a good year for me since bad things are happening to those that I.. erm.. care(?) about? Anyway, good things take turns. So.. yeah >-< 

Pictures of last night: 
Went to Gardens by the Bay at midnight.. 
Eh.. My favourite cousin (I always say this jokingly) likes my specs. Haha I like it too. 

 The few who grew up together ^-^

 My aunty told us to pretend to be a couple to cheat others.. So..
Here's my new boyfriend! ^-^ He works at Kheils. Hahaha

HAPPY PEPERO DAY! ^-^
I don't have Pepero at home, so I'm not gonna eat any. But anyone is welcomed to give me some! :p Speaking of which, Junsu and the FCMen are giving out Peperos to 111 fans? So lucky you spectator fans! So FCMen will be playing today right? Did Junsu watch the football matches recently? I'm sure he curse and swear as well. Well.. Guys normally curse while watching matches. It's an unavoidable thing.

Jaejoong.. He's in Vietnam for a fanmeet now. Good news- He got his voice back. I wonder how he sings though. I certainly can't sing immediately when I just recovered from a severe sore throat. I wonder what he did or eat to lose his voice.

It's Deepavali on Tues so there's no school. Hmm.. I'll be stuck with researches anyway. Nothing to celebrate about. And maybe make a trip to some heritage sites for my individual assignment. YiJing totally wants to join my elective. Maybe cause I made it sound so fun? Haha Too bad.

AFA- Anime Festival Asia.
Pictures ready.. Well.. I shall post a few cause I'm that lazy.

 A power ranger

No idea what character

 I'm sure this is not in any anime

 Gundam seed?

 Stoning Jing

 Ouran High's little jumpy cute guy sleeping. Aww

Dear self,
As expected, you can't treat celebrities seriously. Or who they are on screen. Because you will never know when they will show their true colours. They are humans too. And they do normal human things. Though, under restrictions of privacy and freedom. 

Well.. I might or might not be saying this kinda things because of the IU and Eunhyuk scandal. It's a huge thing! Like the SeungRi kind of scandal. Yes yes. That kind.
I mean, IU is in her pajamas and Eunhyuk is shirtless and looking... tired? Sexed up?(Is it even a word?) Yeah, you mean what I mean. They even look like they're on the bed! Or sofa! But does it matter? People can have sex anywhere. (Not like I care) 

What am I talking about? Guess I need to calm down a little. It's kinda disappointing to see your.. erm.. role model for.. 5years? having scandals like this. It's.. like I've been scammed for so long. Maybe all along, the shyness was all an act. Haha Enough talk.

Anyway, today was a rather.. bad day. I was glad I went to AFA but at the same time, I'm disappointed cause of certain matters. Then when I get home.. I get this kinda news! Ahhh~ There's only so much I can take each day! Don't do this to me!! T_T

I'm not a person who's good at keeping promises or remember what I say most of the time. But.. I try to. That's also why I seldom make promises now.. I'm scared I can't actually fulfill them. But if a promise was made to me, even if it wasn't fulfilled, I still would be contented to at least see some effort shown. It's like.. I'm so gullible, I trust everyone, I believe all your words and you can come cheat my feelings. It's so.. unfair? I'm not even asking for much. I'm not even demanding. All I want is.. I don't know? Show that I'm at least a little significant?

It's frustrating not to be taken seriously when I'm being serious. Not taken seriously when I'm angry. Not taken seriously when I say anything. Perhaps it's my problem? Or was it not? Do I still know anymore? Do I not look fierce enough when I'm angry? Or sad enough when I'm disappointed? Or was it the fact that I was always too forgiving? Perhaps I shouldn't be so kind right? Being taken for granted.. This feeling is not something anyone wants to experience. Yet, it is this way. Am I being too sensitive? Or was it pushing the limit?

Anger- Is something I do not normally feel or express. It turns into disappointment in seconds. 
Disappointment- Is a feeling I feel most of the time. When you're making jokes while I'm trying to talk sense. When you're laughing while I'm scolding you. When you're never here while I was waiting. When you're just downright ridiculous and there's nothing I can do about it.

Feeling angry is not good for health, so I've learn to be disappointed instead. Still, I hate both feelings. 

All I'm asking for is to spare some attention for me while you're giving the rest to yourself. 
I just don't get it.

-Tre disappointed for the second time 

So Junsu kept his promise and went to Jackal premiere. Anyway, it's pretty cool. A lot of Jaejoong's friends went. Jin Yi Han and Yoo Hwan. No idea why I particularly remember these two. Did JiSung go? Haha Whatever.

Anyway, maybe my all black style was cool today? Because three guys were taking turns to look at me and smiling so brightly. Well.. I have no idea whether they were looking at me or what. It's just so amusing to see people smiling at you for no reason. It makes me want to laugh. 
It's already official that I'm a loner in school! Boohoo~ T-T
But it's fine. I can survive with that. It's not like everyone hates me or anything. Haha
^-^

Dear self,

Today was a frustrating day.
It started off with a messy bun which I had to tie two times. And I only ate a slice of bread cause I was in a hurry. I missed the earlier bus so I had to rush even more. Luckily, I passed my grooming test. 

It all went well until the plate clearing session came in. Well.. Yeah. I couldn't lift the plate. And the instructors were of no help. I knew how to place the plates and balance, but I just couldn't lift even the base plate. Which is so frustrating. And then.. things happened. 

And I realized how humans really are. Because it's such a competitive and fast-paced country, those that are slower are left behind. Naturally, those who are better, benefit. I'm not blaming anyone for my inability to lift the plates. I'm just disappointed, just a tiny bit, for the fact that self-centeredness was so much on display, irregardless intentional or not. I'm thankful that instructors want to help me. At the same time, just because of tiny insignificant issues that made an imprint, I was left feeling so lousy. Maybe it was the other party ignorance or maybe it was just the situation. But either way, it was not a good feeling. I didn't show my displeasure too. For the fact that it wouldn't be understandable. Perhaps I was being too sensitive and emotional after not being able to do such a simple task that everyone managed to. Or maybe, it was something that I have tolerated for a long time. 

I'm not saying it's a bad thing. But it really depends on the situation and timing is very important. If it was done at a wrong timing, it can really be insulting. I mean.. Yeah. You're bragging to me. Did you consider how I felt at the point when I just told you the problem and you disregarded it? Perhaps, it was ignorance and not being observant. I hate to show my weakness to anyone. But when I show it, perhaps my optimism level was really low already. The least one could have done is just a little advise or not saying anything at all. It could be good enough. But, no. 

I don't know actually.. Is that why people get angry at the insensitiveness and ignorance. It could be possible. Not many can understand and tolerate such behaviour anyway. By doing such things, you could have been judged already. I'm not saying it in a bad way.. Like it's a taboo or anything. I just thought that it wouldn't be a good thing to do to someone. I know I'm being too indirect in my words and reading this would be a chore, but it's my own reflection time. No one has to understand this but me. 

Maybe I have also been tolerating unintentional harmful things done to me. But I have a poor memory, so I forget easily. But everytime the feeling comes, I know it's the same feeling, and it would naturally come back to me that this is done to me before. And maybe, I'll remember. So it's quite terrible in the end. I think I have always been quite a forgivable person and I forget quickly. (Unless I want to tease you or it's really a major thing). I hate arguing with others. Wasting saliva, time and voice. But sometimes.. I appear not to care simply because I do not want to. If I do, I will probably get mad and then start to think about things and then it wouldn't be so pretty anymore. This is so tiring.

Also, stress level is going up these days. I hate dealing with quarrels and childish matters. Those should be done amongst the parties themselves. I do not wish to be involved. Because it's so frustrating when both sides do not cooperate. And what do I actually gain from it? A major headache is highly possible. Why go through the trouble and then the problem remains unresolved? Am I so free? 

Ahh breaking point is near. Everything is all clumped together and mixing around like wires and I'm the one who getting the finalized product. Not pretty at all. I don't have a sanctuary anymore. There's no place for me to stop and think or relax or leave my guards down. I definitely will break down. The happiest people are the ones who are most troubled and depressed. It seems true. Maybe many people think my life is wonderful and carefree with me doing whatever I want most of the time just cause I smile and laugh everyday. Oh please, what a lie. To pass each day, you have to tell yourself you're gonna be happy. Just to survive, you got to pretend you're made of iron and you will never break. If you manage well, maybe you'll succeed. If not, you will just crumble down to pieces and see who will pick it up for you. Yes, you just wait.

Home- was never so bothersome to return to. Welcomed was never an existent feeling.  You have to be on your guard. One mistake and you're going down. It's like a battle war. If you show your weakness. you're left on your own. Even if you're strong and mighty, you still have to fend for yourself. No one will help you and there is no shield for the bullets coming your way. You either die or get injured. Hopelessness and frustration is what you feel most of the time. Because you're left on your own. If you are injured and seek help, the helping hand will never be there. Instead, he will be guarding the entrance to the first aid center, preventing anyone from going in. And he will defend himself first. This, I do not understand. What logic is there? 

In the end, you just have to ignore the pain and hope for time to heal it. Because time heals everything. You will just need to wait for time. But sometimes, time never does comes. Instead, it just passes. And so you forget. And you thought you were healed already. Internally, deep down to your bones, you're still suffering from after effects.

Too much angsty  Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't meant for this post to come out this way. It just happened. My thoughts are all over the place and.. emotionally I'm exhausted. If I am not given a break soon, I will go crazy. I don't appreciate getting shouted at when I'm already so tired. It only makes me cranky. 

Anyway, advise of the day:
If you do not have anything good to say, don't say anything at all. 

-Emotionally unstable lady 

Hello Hello! ^-^
I thought this was interesting. Hopefully my kids will be sweet like the last few..
They're so sweet, you will go AWWWW~  ^-^
Happy Halloween! xD 


Pictures of fan meet in Jarkata. 
Seriously, he's 27 yet he looks like a child with bangs. Ahhh I love bangs.
And he look so small size! What happen to the muscles man?! :O

He looks so good~ ^-^

Anyway, I only took the pictures that he doesn't look sick in. 

 HoMin in.. Film festival? 
Anyway, SOMEONE FIRE THE STYLIST ALREADY! What's with the bareback suits? Really..
I appreciate them showing their muscular backs (whatever you called it). But it looks horrible. I think I've said this before. SOMEONE! DO SOMETHING! 
Yunho's arms look short for his height.. It's funny. (I have no sense of humor)

 The underwear is showing. FIRE THE STYLIST. (Perhaps fangirls like it?) But I don't. 
Underwear not appreciated please. I don't  wanna know what brand they wear. 
Sigh. Although EVERYONE probably already knows Yunho always wears Calvin Klein and Jaejoong with Skins. I don't get it. Do they only buy this brand or are the underwear sponsored? You know, sponsored stuff have to be flaunted as advertisement. (If clothes, shoes, in this case, underwear) Oh my.. The horror. 
Which reminds me.. Why is my bra Calvin Klein brand last time? Where did that come from? >0<
Horror, horror~

Maybe Changmin's back muscles are lesser.. There aren't many photographs of his back.

(But wow. They have good skin. In my country, it's hard to have good back skin. Cause the weather is so warm! I often have allegies.. T0T )

__________________________________________________________________

Reflection time:

I must never forget to bring my wallet. Then, I'll be broke. And then, I have no keys. And everything gets so troublesome. Also, I must never never forget my wallet when my collection slip is inside. It makes things even worse. In conclusion, I must always bring my wallet!!! ARghhhh

I think.. I might also secretly have an unknown temper. Okay, maybe I do have one. It takes me awhile to cool down. But it's still under control, I guess. It's like.. a small secret temper anyway. When I get too irritated or moody. Yeah. Nothing serious. Hmm I've always been a rather mild person. Like.. a stone. (HAHA My tutor said the class ate stones for lunch when we didn't react to his questions. Funny moment) Mild like never too happy, never too sad, never too angry, never too excited. Okay.. maybe I'm ate stones without knowing.(Does it even make sense?) In short, I'm just a very controlled person. I only lose control.. When I'm alone? These kind of people are normally the scariest right? haha When they explode.. BOOM~! Everyone dies. Anyway, I'm far from exploding. It's still safe being beside me. ^-^

It's tiring always being the middleman. Since I'm a mild person and I take my time to judge, I'm always the middleman. Or was it the fact that I care too much? Either way, it's tiresome. So much to consider. For yourself, the party and the other party. (lol) 

Next time, I can become a lawyer. 

And I realized  in some of the blog posts (I was reading my own blog yesterday night lol), I mentioned things like 'I will explain some other time', 'I will post pics next time', 'Too lazy to type suddenly'. 

And I never did fulfilled what I've said. Well.. why am I bringing this up? I don't know.. 

Anyway, I read the DAEBAK dream of me being a staff member and meeting Eunhyuk & Jaejoong who changes into each other randomly. This was just pure DAEBAKness. Recently, my dreams are so mixed up and ridiculous. I can't even remember them properly when I wake up. (And some are.. explicit. I blame the mangas I'm reading recently) Not that explicit as in sexual.. Just.. Well.. Not for children under 15? Haha Whatever. It's best not to know anyway.  

Got to go~ I feel like reading manga again. 

I've been doing it during bus rides and in bed before I sleep. It's.. like a hobby? 

Anyway, good night.

-Manga Tre