I edited this post.Sorry for the vulgarities.I feel so not myself when reading this post myself..
I think this is going to be the first and last time that I'll swear like that.And I'm also sure I'll regret posting this so it'll probably be off my blog afew days later. First off, chinese new year rehearsals totally sucks. It fcuking screwed up. Okay. Forgot all the formalities man. Today some band members really pissed me off. First time I was so fcuking angry. Didnt know sec2 guys can be this childish. I mean. okay.you're only sec2. understood. but you're 14! Dont tell me you dno right from wrong. And yeah. Sorry to shock ppl.I know I'm using vulgarities. Not vry nice. Hack. Why should I be nice to you when you're not nice to me? It takes 2 hands to clap doesnt it? Why should I respect you when you dont show me even a littlest bit of respect? And why should I control my anger towards you when you dun even fcuking give a damn? And cause of that. Fcuk you. Hack. I dun even know why I'm wasting time typing this out. But it helps to vent out my anger. And oh. I almost forgot. Are the seniors abit better? NOPE. They're not helping at all. And sometimes I really wonder.. Are they even considered seniors at all? Regardless mind and actions.. Are they? How irresponsible can ppl get? Even God dun know. To a certain point that drives someone insane? Or to that point that drives someone to his grave? But here's the irony. To wad point can responsibility get you? Be a bm? Or a dm? Or a senior? Or jus a ordinary band member? Even to be a junior? What extent is that? Oh. And one more prob. Why does on one want to help the percussion section? Is it cause they're troublesome? Their instruments are heavy? It's tiring to climb the stairs? Or is it the fact that even their sl doesn't care? Or is it cause you're jus plain lazy and selfish? Or maybe,is it all of them? I dun understand actually. If you're involved in something. Shouldn't you do yr best? Or at least put in some effort? If not,why the hell are you even involved? How come ppl can say they're involved but doesn't do anything at all? How come some ppl can be so fcuking selfish they don't care at all? And how is anyone going to explain that to me? And who is going to explain to me why some ppl can bother while some just don't? Anyway.No one will be able to give me a sastisfied ans. Actually wanted to step down without regrets.Do my best to improve. Hah. Silly me. Wishful thinking. really. How am I going to help when ppl jus stubbornly refuse to listen? And what is there to improve actually? Attitude? Disipline? Manners? Or attendance? What exactly is there to improve? This is hilarious actually. Am I too nice? Not fierce enough? Or it's cause I'm abt the same age? But does it matter? I don't think so. fcuk the nice part. fcuk the fierce part. fcuk the age. The prob doesn't lies with me. Hack. I bet no one will even realise where the prob lies on. So. I shan't respect ppl that doesnt deserve any. I shan't be nice to ppl that aren't nice to me. And obvoiusly. I won't care abt those that doesn't care. It's so fcuking fair isn't it? Cause it's not fair that I'm one of those idiotic ones stressing over things that doesn't mean a damn. I fcuking need my life too. One band one sound? Hah. For the moment,I resent that. Becans for a better future? Oh please. And lastly. FCUK those who made me type this.