When inspiration strikes, no matter what, it has to be off my chest before I do anything else. And this, is actually not an inspiration, it’s.. a burden.

I..am in a dilemma. Perhaps watching Protect the Boss do have some useful advices and knowledge that I can actually apply to myself, I’m not sure. ChaMooWon, I resemble him now. Oh gosh. Pitiful character. I just wanna have some fun. I’m sure I’m not any less lonely than him. Same fate. Poor thing. It’s holidays now.. Term break before sch reopen in Oct. I was using com, watching some pointless Eunhyuk/Jaejoong videos as usual, Moma told me not to use com so much and go do something else.. Of course! There was nth to do! I mean, I can’t go out to play, I’m unemployed, I got no siblings to disturb.. What am I supposed to do? She actually told me to read a book. Well.. It wouldn’t be such a bad idea actually.. BUT. What book am I supposed to read?! I don’t own any magazines but reading magazines makes me sleepy anyway, I don’t even have next semester notes so I can’t read them too, I don’t really own any storybooks that’s worth reading.. What am I going to do except using com?? Watching TV could be an option, but there was no show at 2pm in the afternoon right?!! Not any that I know is interesting enough for me to actually watch it anyway.. Gosh. Do I sound like ChaMooWon? Nope. His part has not even start yet.

I. Trecia. Act too much according to my mom’s wishes. She said no wearing of shorts to the beach, so I wore knee length shorts instead. She said no using of com after midnight during sch days, I tried to comply though sometimes I do use secretly without her knowing. She said to write down my everyday spendings on this stupid book that I use as my mouse pad, I did complained, it didn’t work out well, and so I wrote down whatever little things I spent my money on. She said to call her before deciding to buy clothing, except for those at flea since they’re cheap, I did call her to ask if I can buy when I go shopping with my friends, it’s kind of weird, but I still did. She said to get a receipt and text her whenever I decided to withdraw money from my bank account, which I tried my hardest to rem to text and get her a receipt. She said I must study hard enough to get a good job when I grow older, I studied as hard as I could and freaked out when the paper is hard or when the things I’ve studied for was not tested.

Man. Who was I living life for? What was I thinking?

Same fate as ChaMooWon. When MooWon does something he usually does not do, his mom freaks out. When I do something I usually do not do, my mom freaks out. Why? Only mom knows.

Living life the same way everyday, doing the same things everyday, with the same routine, I can’t stand that. Heck, I can’t even stand the thought of having nothing to do for a min. It would be boring. I rather work myself to death than rot and die at home. But speaking of which, I do not feel like working now. Tasted the hardships of work life, do not want to try it again. I don’t even need to earn money now anyway. Whatever, got sidetracked.

My point is, everyone is different. I don’t know if mom still wants to shape me into the ‘perfect’ daughter. Whatever. Perfection isn’t my thing anyway. Never a perfectionist will never be one. I’m not even a Virgo or whatever horoscope that seeks for perfection. Blah.

I got sidetracked again =.=

Alright. I’ve learnt OB. Life’s pretty interesting with all those OB concepts running all over the place. Life’s interesting that way. I wish.

First lesson, perception. Mom, perception is the basic. Even if you do not learn OB, you should know that everyone’s brain works differently right? I mean, that’s also why no one can ever read minds.. maybe except for great telepathy, alike mindsets or stuff like that. Right, whatever. Different people have different mindsets and way of thinking. Just like how you like Fann Wong and how I hate her. Or maybe how you like oranges and how I hate them. Or how I like Eunhyuk and how you like RyeoWook. It’s almost like that. We are different, so naturally think differently. We can’t change this fact, ever. Sometimes we do agree on the same things, have same thoughts, that’s just bonus. Nothing else. Okay, I do understand that people do quarrel. Since we’re all different after all, we perceive things differently, we have misunderstandings, we misinterpret, we argue, we talk it out, we fight. It’s normal. BUT. To settle the differences, it is not essential to find out who’s right or who’s wrong. We just have to listen. Listen to what the other party is saying. Listen to the reasons why the other party is acting that way. Listen to why he’s arguing. Listen to anything he wants to say. Just listen. It really does make a difference. I can say, my mom doesn’t listen very well. Not well at all.

Second lesson, motivation. Yeah, kids need motivation. They won a competition, a candy. They scored full marks for spelling, an icecream. Adults need motivation. Break sales target, pay rise. Nice efforts in work, promotion. Teenagers need motivation. I don’t want candy or icecream or whatever deals that people make when they achieve a certain goal. They want things from their parents.. I don’t even do that. It doesn’t work in my home anyway. Mom, you really, just need to accept me for who I am. Not some hypocrite that pretends to smile all the time, being polite every second, act so poise everyday. I have moments. Sad moments. Something could happen in sch, or on my way home, or some personal problems, I need not be happy all the time. Yes, I might still be a kid that acts so childish and probably need a babysitter. But, hey, have you seen a crying kid before? Kids have the right to be sad too you know. We’re not stones. Why don’t you ever ask me what happened instead of jumping to conclusions? That might actually be nicer don’t you think? Everything happens for a reason. Known or unknown. Adding on. Being polite, yes, it’s a must. Have you ever wondered why I was rude most of the time? I talk curtly, I raise my voice. I know, I’m sorry for that. But you started it. For no reason, you must shout at me. Thanks to you, goodbye good mood, welcome bad mood. I had to return you the favor. Now, we’re both pissed off. That’s how it has always been. If you can actually start a conversation nicely and not ask stupid questions, I would be obliged to talk nicely.

Lesson2 part 2,Motivation 2. Reinforcement & Punishments. Yes, parents hit their children. I understand. Their so-called ways of discipline. Whatever. Violence isn’t always a solution you know. That’s why police arrest people for fighting,rioting,raping,abusing.. blahs. Cause they’re all violent. Act of.. Idk. Doesn’t seem very disciplined to me at all. Hitting children.. leads to child abuse? They all say, parents hit their own children, their hearts hurt. Then why do it? First, you hit your own children, they’re in pain. Then, you claimed that you’re in pain too. Sadist much? What logic is that? Come on, I don’t buy it. Seriously. Come up with something better. Something like.. oh. When I hit my child, he cries, watching him cry, I feel like crying too.. That’s why I’m in pain trying to hold back my tears cause it’s embarrassing to cry in front of my child.. Yeah. Maybe I would consider buying that story. YEA. Anyway, I’m 17. I certainly do not need to get any physical harm inflicted on me. Thankyouverymuch. You just need to talk to me. NICELY, I might add. Once one starts shouting, the ears switch off automatically. Haven’t you heard of this? People are like this. Deal with it.

Next lesson, personality. Probably the same as perception lesson. Everyone is different. Deal with it. Enough said. If we can’t get along, then it’s too bad. Better luck with someone else.

Last lesson, behavior modification. Quite a hard topic. I have no idea where to start. HM. Shall not start. I’m lazy to type any longer. This blog post is getting naggy too. Yawns.

I actually quite like ChaMooWon. Tho our life sucks. Well. At least I don't get rejected everyday. So it's a bonus for me. Hah!