I'm so frustrated now. Like hell I wouldn't want to gain weight. I always hope I can become fat. Like a pig or something. So as to satisfy mom's stupid wishful thinkings. I eat like a cow everyday and I'm still like this. What can I do? You want me to get fat? Sure, double my allowance first. Food equals to money. I will have 10 fastfood meals a day. No problem. All I need is time and money. Which I have neither.
Some people think it's a blessing, some think it's a curse. For you, it definitely is a curse. I mean, even if I do have 10meals a day.. How fat can i get? Parents are skinny, how fat can the child get? I don't care what size my cousins are. So what if they're all chubby? They're not me. I'm not them. We have different genes. We have different parents. Their parents are not skinny, so they are not. My parents are skinny, plus they have small bones. And so, I became the end result. Don't want a skinny child? Go marry dinosaur then. Your child will definitely be BIG size. And most probably fat.
Also, if I'm not feeling well for this one day and refuses to eat much, it does not mean that I have eating disorders. I am certainly not aneroxic. Come on. You got to be smarter than that. So, if one day you don't eat your food, I'm gonna send you to a doctor cause you might have the chance of being aneroxic? COME ON. Seriously, using a few brain cells won't kill you. Use them please. Or do you not own any? Stop overreacting already. It's annoying. I would gladly appreciate it if you can leave me alone for awhile. Overreacting is not enough, no. You must be a control freak too. Why? Why can't I arrange my laptop cases according to the way I want to? Why can't I decide where to put my soup bowl? Can't i control my own life for once? Frustrating much.
I've already told you. The more you force it, the more you'll be pushing me away. You know that. Even dad agrees. My aunt's told you too. Can't you just listen? Are you the queen or sth? Everyone listens to you but you listen to no one? Is that it? Why the hell are you so stubborn? Who does it benefit? You, me? NOBODY alright? Seriously, just slow down and listen for a bit.
There's no use when you don't listen. You don't know I was smirking away when my aunts were telling you off abt controlling too much? I knew you wouldn't listen. I knew they were wasting their time. But hey, people need to believe. Hoping for a miracle. Be optimistic. What a joke. Optimism cannot be used in such hopeless situation. Not in this kind of situation where you know it'll go on for life. If you don't trust me, I don't trust you too. Not like you will ever find out though. But it doesn't matter. Not anymore. I don't even know why I'm still being nice. I should become really hostile right? Cause you're not nice to me. I don't only need your money. Money does not matter much to me.
In conclusion, I came from the sky. Not heaven. Just the sky.