Fantasy & lack of love life.

Hey hey hey,

I'm gonna update regularly cause bottling feelings and thoughts causes depression and stress. So, I'll just share with everyone. It might make your day better or worse. Hmm. I'm listening to Leona Lewis right now. [I will be] is one of my favourite song of hers. She's such a amazing singer. Her suden high notes are flawless. Woooh~

Update of today consist of fantasies. Don't think off track already! It's nothing bad or wrong or matured content. Fantasies are good okay? (Excuses, excuses) This topic came up because I was being all melancholy about my love life. Or lack of. Yeah. Forever alone. Anyone out there with me too? I hope not.

My friend and I were talking about boyfriends and bgr and just fantasizing about certain stuff boys do that are just too adorable or sweet. It started off with a falling sick situation and ended up with me ranting about all my good memories. I'm not going to rant here. Just gonna share some fantasies.

First situation- Falling sick.
Apparently, we both agreed that having a boy take care of you is rather sweet (especially when he's your boyfriend). So much better than your worried mum fussing over you. Yeah, maybe he can sneak in a peck or two too. Awww~ (smacks myself) It'll be nice if he prepares food in the kitchen too. (even if he doesn't know how to cook) That'll still earn a nice backhug and snuggle. Yeah.

Playing video games together, or just games.
People bond by playing together, almost like kids. They play together for a moment and poof! They're best friends already. Yeah, something similar to that. Playing games are healthy. It makes you interact and find out personalities. (If the boy is a sore loser or gentleman). Then you can start pushing each other if you wanna win badly. It's kind of like... flirting? Yep. Something like that. I like that a lot. (stabs self)

Sharing music.
Music is important to me. Bonus if we have the same taste. Enough said, isn't it? We can go for concerts together, share albums, exchange music players, duet. That is just awesome. Super bonus if he plays an instrument. Charming boys plays instruments. Instruments makes boys extra charming.

Sudden thought!
I better stop exposing my fantasies! What if there's a stalker out there? It's dangerous! (Excessive thinking again). Hmm. Alright. These situations are rather common isn't it? I bet many girls fell for such things too. So, where's the guy for me? Still unborn? (sarcasm alert)

Trecia who gave up on updating 'cause she's suddenly busy,
till next time peeps
Good night ^ ^

(I have accepted the fact that my face is round. & my chin is out of shape. & my nose is a button. Have to stop looking like a kid too. Oh, oh. Rectangle smile, long lost brother Baekhyun? Kidding.)

I almost forgot my quote of the day~
Quote of the day:
Don't worry about not finding your partner. There's someone out there who can't find theirs too. Feel the implications~

Birthday Celebration. And Moths.

Hello all,

I've decided to do some blogging 'cause there's really nothing much to do at my cousin's house. Well, I could have watched a movie but my cousin's busy studying at the moment and I don't really want to watch it alone. (No fun in alone stuff). So... I'll just rant here, I guess.

Oh. It's my cousin's birthday today. You're probably thinking why she's busy studying when it's her birthday. Well, all I can say is - 3 sisters. Yeah, the youngest' birthday. She just turned 16! Sweet sweet 16th. I miss the times... Guess we're all old now. I'm 20. Old old 20th. It sounds so sad suddenly. Pssh at the sudden negativity. (This keyboard makes it hard to type. My own typos are annoying me) I think we're gonna cut the cake soon before it's midnight! (cause my uncle just returned from a dinner)

Hmm let's see. What can I talk about right now?
Oh yeah, yesterday, I saw a huge moth. It is so disgusting. Guess the whole whooha~ about the moth migrating/invasion thing is real. But they are just so... HUGE. and gross looking. I used to be super scared of moths. And then one night, I was freaking out during dinner since a moth decided to visit my house. My mum told me that it could probably be my grandpa or some ancestor that decided to visit. Funny theory. (It's a chinese superstition thing). I actually bought the story and wasn't that scared anymore. Although I still freak out when it comes within a meter radius. Insects and me - horrible match. But still, here I am, 20 yrs old and still clinging onto that belief that it's a harmless relative. Hmm, harmless. 

BRB next time! Time to cut the cake! Hurray~
Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHAR!
You're really a big baby that behaves like a puppy sometimes but it's all cool.
Cheers.

Trecia gotta go eat cake,
see ya all!
^ ^ 
(Was back and edited the post)
I read back my posts and realised how my personality changes. Like everyday. Hopefully, it is for the better. Yeah~
During internship, I was so sick of people. Demanding people. But I guess that's also an experience. Eye-opening. Made new friends. Got more insights on certain stuff. 
Then, ranting about how my parents are not supportive of me. Whatever I was thinking at that time, I was so childish. Perhaps selfish too. Did I really mature so much within a year?

Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow morning and go ''F**K this world! I'm never waking up again!"
Or maybe I'll be like "Rainbows and unicorns! Today is the perfect day to donate all my bank savings!" 

What am I saying this time. Urgh, cake must have gotten to me. (It is delicious. Yumyum)

Tomorrow I'm returning to Singapore. (Hah, sounds like I'm in a faraway country when actually I can just swim over if I'm allowed to) Just signed up for a GV membership too. So I'll probably be searching for some sort of promotion and watching a movie. (maybe alone...anyone?) And I'm gonna apply for JCU. Some program which I'm not gonna reveal till I get in. Hopefully, I do. (Cross my fingers. Really really hard). 

Oh. And I read about how I did a music video review on exo's growl and how I complained about exo having too many members (although lesser than SuperJunior). And how I only remembered Baekhyun, Tao, Lay, Kris, Luhan and Kai. I am so amused with myself. Well, I was abt 7 months younger then. I grew up. Now, I can easily name them all but let's not go there. Just for laughs, I used to annoy my friend, who is an exo fan, how their names are so dumb. I kept listing them as Lay Han Kai Kris Min Tao Hyun. I don't even make any sense do I? 

Alright. Enough of typing. I'm getting bored with myself. Kay, bye.

I really think that tomorrow morning, I'll just be thinking "Bloody hell.  I'm not going home"
Although I should really be home to learn my piano properly, record a few songs, clean up my room, clear my desk, finish my uni application and change my guitar. So many things to do, so much time to procrastinate.

The real bye this time, bye bye.
Quote of the day: 
YOLO (you only live once) is wrong. You live everyday but you only die once. 
Just... make use of the everyday that you're living. 

Hey hey to the world,

Trecia is back again. I've finally decided what I want to do with my uncertain boring dull life. Because of certain issues and deep deep thoughts that jolted me out of my delimma. Certain issues that cannot be spoken of (it isn't anything bad and it doesn't even concern me). It made me think a lot.

If I remain stubborn and choose to live life the stubborn way I want to, which includes breaking hearts by leaving my parents (thank god I don't have silbings, lesser hearts to break), my cousins, aunts and just, family members. I don't possibly live past that. There are people around who loves me and wants the best for me. To live comfortably, happily and safely. Yes, thanks for their love. (they don't always show it but you know it's always there. Somewhere.)

So, I have thought it through! (not that my previous choice of live was a bad one). I can just live that life in my next life, or leave it to someone else to live it for me. (maybe after I reincarnate as someone stronger, tougher) Why am I being so ambiguous? Hah, you'll never know. No one knows my dream.

Yes, this is about my dream. The dream that I had since I was 12? Or was it 10? I'm giving it up. It's kind of sad. Cause this dream has followed me through my puberty (horrible puberty) and almost a decade already. I gave it up. I know, people always say to follow their dreams no matter what. Your dreams are most important. Dreams are what defines a person. Point is, well, I don't know, if you give up on your dream, what makes you now? Lesser a person? I really don't know my point.

Perhaps, I might be having these thoughts on impulse again. No one actually wants to give up on their dreams, just like that. I mean, I always despise people who don't know dreams. People who don't know what they wanna do when they grow up. For me, I always lie. When I was a kid, I always lie when others ask me what I wanna be when I grow up. I wasn't brave enough to admit it. I was afraid of mockery. Because my dream, isn't all that realistic. (to certain people). Anyway, I'm turning my dream into a hobby now. So, all is well. At least, I know I won't stop doing the things that makes me smile, frustrated, annoyed, laugh and feel carefree. Yes, I won't ever stop.

I'll live better from now on. Because life is fragile and short. This much I know. I'll study harder. Work harder. Try harder to find an awesome boyfriend. (because I need a tight hug sometimes). I don't know if I will ever marry and have children, cause I'm scared of commitment (not really, it's just the not being a good wife part) and the pain of labor. Yeah, all is scary. I'm scared. (as much as I don't wanna admit).

What was the point of this post again? (Everytime I pour my heart out, I forgot my main point). Uh... okay. That's all, I guess.
Trecia is a better person now! This deserves a celebration I think... Maybe not.

Besides happy things and sudden enlightenment in my life... A close friend is going through distress right now. I'm gonna be there to... uh... be her shoulder and spam her with warm hugs. Yeah, that's right.

In the past, stupid me don't know how to keep people by my side. Honestly, I lost contact with too many people who mattered to me. What was I even thinking? Maybe I miss them, maybe I don't. But they were all people who once brought smiles to me. Made me laughed. Made me happy. Yeah, good memory. But maybe they weren't meant to be in my life. I mean, a tiny few people, I didn't make enough effort to keep them, but they're still here. I'm so blessed. So, thank you for staying. It meant so much to me. I'll try harder. Promise.

What was I saying again? Oh  yes. I'll be there! Don't worry about me leaving! We promised to be there till we're tai tai enjoying afternoon tea and bridesmaid and enjoying Friday nights together and all the fun things. Yup. I can't wait. It sounds fun and I'm excited already. (Stop being mushy, Trecia! Since when are you such a softie?!)

To end it, thank you for all who stayed by me. Friends who made me laugh- If I act cute in front of you, then yes, you're a close friend. Not just any friend. I hate acting cute. (although people say I have the face).

Family members- Cousins who annoy me and I annoy. BEST. My aunt who I leeched off of whenever I stayed over. Hehe. Another aunt who always did my hair for free. (I totally love my hair now. It's so smooth.) Just everyone who loves me. I love you back. Really. I'm so glad I finally got time to attend all their bday parties. Thank god to graduating! I never attended any of my cousins' bdays in the past. I was always too occupied with studies and I couldn't leave. Exams, tests, sch days. When it's holidays, June, Dec, March, no one have their bdays there. How unlucky. So, I'm fortunate like that. Hahahahah~

Why am I all rainbows and unicorns today?

On a side note, I wanna go on a date. No, I'm not desperate. I just want to have fun. Yes, with like a boy who makes me all butterflies and roller coaster inside. I wanna watch a horror movie together and throw popcorn around cause we're scared. Play Wii and end up shoving each other cause we both want to win. Walk around the streets randomly eating ice cream. Okay, I'm thinking too much. I blame it on tumblr. They always post this kinda nonsense. Pff.

Oh..

Please respect Wu Yi Fan's decisions. Whatever they are. He has the right to choose what he wants in life. If he thinks it's best for him, then support him. Don't bash or curse him. Because you'll never know why he made his decisions that way. Because you'll never know his story. So, all you can do is to silently support him and his choices. He has that right, at the very least. Because no one is in charge of him except for himself. Not the fans. Not the company. Not his family. Not exo. If he wants to go, then let him go. You can't do anything about it. He is his own person.

People let go because they want better in life. Expect better things. You should be happy for him. And for the record, Wu Yi Fan doesn't need anyone's bullsh*t. He is human too. Feel for him and wear his shoes. If his health condition is real, let him rest if you don't want him to collapse. You know how terrible it feels when you fall sick. So just rest your case.

(Honestly, I'm not into Kpop anymore... Like not the spazzing kind. Although I do like their songs. I don't even spazz over Eunhyuk or Jaejoong anymore. But I do want to attend their concerts sometime. It'll be so fun. Oh oh, I have like three idols now. 1st, Eunhyuk. 2nd, Jaejoong. 3rd, WuYiFan. There's Taeyeon too. And badass Heechul who breaks all the rules in the world. Hopefully, there're more people who're worth it. Because they don't give a damn.)

I gotta go bathe right now.

Trecia gotta go bathe,
rushing to the bathroom,
bye! ^ ^

Random trips and food.

Alright! I'm back! From all my impromptu trip to Ipoh. But first, my birthday event.
WOOHOO. Can I say how awesome is that place that my friends brought me to?
FreeingSG. Yes, that scary thrilling place. I didn't even know it existed until that day.
It was SO FUN! ^^ I need to try everything there, really.
We bought the secret agent room and boy, it was so cool.
Some codes were so hard to find and the lion on the wall is hella creepy. No one dared to touch it.
Haha. But before we actually went to the Bugis, they gave me a lot of mini letters and alphabets. It was so tough, trying to put the letters together. And everyone were so misleading! Giving me false hints and such. EVIL PEOPLE! But it was fun. Well, at least I entertained them.
I got cupcakes which are yumyum! Ate them for breakfast. Heh ^^
Great time spent with great friends. I like them soooo much~!
We're all smart agents.

And my relatives celebrated for me too. The first time in many years? Since the previous years were a mess of studies and deadlines. NOW, I'm finally free! Yessssa!! =D
My aunt bought me a cappuccino cheesecake and we ate at a noya restaurant. Funny thing was, everyone had tummy aches after eating. Don't really know which food is at fault. The noya or cheesecake. Amusing.

Thr trip to Ipoh consists of nothing except for eating, chilling and sleeping. We eat like once every two hours? Since my aunt knows all the good and popular food places. And really, they are all super good. Basically, two whole days, we get on the car, drive off, get off car, eat, get on car, drive around, buy some popular goodies, eat again, drive around, eat. And get lost in all the small one way streets which is just dumb. Point is, we just ate and sleep. Well, at least I just ate and sleep.
Why didn't I get fat already?

Oh, we visited Sunway's hot spring too! It was so awesome. First time at a hot spring place. The facilities are exactly like a usual water park except that it has a lot of small random pool of different temperatures, a fake beach, a minin cave to steam yourself and those water jets massages things around. Totally cool. But it gets dizzy when you stay too long in the pools. They're steaming hot. And super comfortable. One of my cousins was shouting "This is the temperature I shower with!" So cute. It was a good experience and it's cheap? Around RM40? Cool for Singaporeans, for Malaysians... I don't know. Is it considered expensive to you?  /shrugs.
You should visit it someday!

The next morning, we drove off to Penang. Yes, we went all the way there. The car ride was... okay, I slept almost the whole trip. Nothing interesting. But yeah, we used the new Penang bridge which is very expensive, according to my uncle. 8km or something. But the old one was prettier. The scenery is WAY better. Oh. Penang is rather hazy tho. Why? AND SUPER SUNNY. IT BURNS.
Howled like a mad woman everytime I got off the car. HEAT STROKE POTENTIAL.

And now... my granny and baby cousin is at my house. I'm blogging and she's watching cartoons. SpongeBob? Haha. It's boring at my house. I'm bored too. We're going shopping at night. So... yeah.
Jing's turtle is with me too. I'm beginning to think my house is a hotel. Hah. Kidding, guys.
That poor little turtle is named ninja turtle by her brother.. Poor thing. But... Haha. Ninja is a pretty cool name I guess. Heeeee~ ^^

Next week, I'm bringing Rina for a JB trip. We're going to visit a lot of cafes and shop around.
That's all.
Bye~
I say this everytime. Whenever I graudate, I lost direction of my life.
T^T

The Day.

Heheh. It's 12 March today.
Happy Birthday to me! :)
I'm 20 this year. In my twenties already..
No time, no time.
Time is running out~!
I'll post later on, about how I celebrated my birthday.
Yesterday was soooo fun! I didn't know that place existed!
Heheh. Too bad I don't have much pictures. So I'll just steal from FB instead. Heh.
Now, I'm off to the temple... Mom says birthday must go temple.
Then, shopping, dinner and Yamaha.
I'm getting a keyboard/piano for my birthday!
Probably the best present ever. Well... except for my guitar. And some other things... Yeah.
Alright, be back later.
^^

哈哈哈。今天决定用中文沟通。可是中文果然很难！

昨天和朋友去了KTV唱歌。本来是约好了中午见面，结果，自己睡不醒。一直到朋友11.55 打电话给我醒过来。笑死人了。现在已近放长假了，也不压力，只是不知道自己以后要怎么过，大学好难找，自己成绩也没特别好。啊，重点是-我还是失眠，晚上睡不着，白天起不来。快疯了。真的。。。连饭也没什么吃得下。真的。。好痛苦。
啊，算了，抱怨也没用，应该去看医生。活不下去~

哦对了，今天来部落格的原因是应为我又梦见了很无聊的事情。
感觉Exo已经闯入了我的人生（不是件坏事），我三天两夜（成语是这样用的吗？）都会梦见他们。这次梦见了他们是我的同学。Lay和Xiumin同学。我和....
Okay. I gave up typing in Chinese cause it's too time consuming and troublesome. English is still the best. Let me continue my dream.
 
Lay and Xiumin are my groupmates and we were supposed to go for a project interview by my Sec 3/4 English teacher who does not entertain late issues. So... my Korean friend and I were somewhere, and we lost track of time. Lay and Xiumin tried to contact us but they obviously failed. Because Lay just sent me a text asking where I am and Xiumin only called once. Then they both went for a group interview. My friend and I got scolded and denied of the interview so it turns out that we will fail the project or something like that. So horrible. Then the teacher was angry at Lay and Xiumin cause they didn't try hard enough to contact us.
 
Seriously, in such an urgent situation, you only gave a text and a call? Seriously? I would have spam whoever that was. Urgh, weird people. Anyway, angry teacher is pretty scary and I was literally shaking from nervousness. In the end, I was given a second chance for the interview. But she was so strict that I couldn't speak properly. Like stage fright, or sth similar.

Horrible experience. Not fun.

I spent my whole day playing with the 3D maker thing, trying to create a house. No idea what I was trying to do but my house looks so nice. No pictures available cause I'm shy. Kidding. I haven't completed it yet. My masterpiece will be revealed soon!

Maybe I'm getting a keyboard or electric piano on my birthday. Depends on the price. And maybe selling my guitar for a ladies one. My current one is too big for me and I realised acoustic guitars really do hurt your fingers a lot. So nope. I will get a ladies one instead.

I was supposed to be recording a song today. But... I couldn't wake up. Anyway, it's good that I didn't, since I'm postitive that I will sound like a sick donkey. Saved everyone from a nightmare didn't I~?

That's all for today. Let me post a random picture before I go...
So sexy isn't it?
I'm totally in love... Since forever.

The Start of Holidays.

Good news number 1 : Exams are over.
Good news number 2 : Holidays~
Good news number 3 : Eat, sleep, play

Bad news number 1 : I will fail Calculus and probably not graduate.
Bad news number 2 : Which university wants to accept me?
Bad news number 3 : Dreams are so hard to achieve. I don't know where to start.

How come all my bad news seem to surpass the good ones? T^T
When will my life be smooth sailing for once~?

Anyway, I'll be going for a KTV session tomorrow. With my clique. (Funny how the clique only has three people/five sometimes) Looking forward to my birthday celebration since the planners are more excited than me. I'm a rock seriously.  I lost the ability to be happy these days. I blame the stress.
Because of stress, I can't sleep, I have no appetite. You don't want to know how cranky I am.
In school, I'm grumpy already. At home... oh ho ho. Let's just say that I tone down my crankiness ten times when I'm outside.

Selca for today. It's actually taken on Sat...

Even smiling is tough nowadays...
And I'm the worse at taking selcas. Whatever I take, it's always ugly. But when other people take, it's nice. Why? Why do I have no selca skills? Or is it my phone? I can't seem to find a nice angle. What's new.

I'm starting a youtube account for entertainment purposes. To post videos... I don't know yet. Maybe singing something or doing a dance or just grooving around. Or to rant to the world. Hah. 'No one cares!' says everyone.  ..... Why are you people so mean to me?

Why am I talking to myself?

What is the purpose of blogging today? ... Let's recall... I think I just wanna announce that it's holidays and I might fail Calculus. Yeah. That's about it.

So... *thinks of something to do*

Okay! Let's do something fun! I shall go google...
Oh.Speaking of google... My wallpaper cheers me up the past weeks. (although it isn't really effective but at least I giggle for 5 seconds before frowning again).
Here it is~!

I am so sorry that I am childish. I am 20 this year. It sucks. I want to be 18 again. Just because that's a nice number. Forever 18, yay!

 

Oh yes. Something fun. Alright, leggo!

I googled 'fun things to do when you're bored at home'. I sure get results...

From : http://goodbyeboredom.webs.com/

2. Draw a picture with shaving cream on your mirror

(nope, mom will not appreciate that)

 

22. Think of 50 random things about yourself. Share them with me on the blog.

(Sounds possible... maybe later or tomorrow)

 

Ookay! I discover a rather good app that allows me to build my own house. Like 3D and stuff. I shall go play with it for a few hours... Hopefully it works on my pathetic excuse of a laptop. First, have to finish downloading it.

 

So, I will take up suggestion 22 and say random things.

What should I say? Hmm...

Random things number

1: My dark circles have reached my cheeks. I think.

 

(GREAT. THE LEPTOP DOES NOT SUPPORT THE APP! WHY OH WHY)

 

2: I'm 1/4 Singaporean. Since only my grandfather (dad's side) is from Singapore. The rest are all Malaysians. 3/4 grandparents are from Malaysia. But I hold a SG citizenship. Ho ho~

 

3: To me, one piece is the best anime/manga ever.

 

4: I need a pet badly 'cause I need love and I have a lot of love within me. Need to let out.

 

5: I want a tattoo. (Parents will probably kill me) Somewhere on my wrist or behind the ear.

 

6: Because I'm petite and have a childish face, people say I'm cute. But no. I like to be seen as pretty or cool or... just not cute. Personality wise, I'm actually a man.

 

7: I'm a peace-loving Pisces with a secret bad temper. I hide it very well.

 

8: I can't get fat? Jealous? Hah. I do gain weight, although it's always a kg or two and there's no big difference. But, I don't gain weight and I don't grow taller either. Guess it works both ways. Don't be jealous.

 

9: When people say I don't use makeup, I secretly laugh 'cause I do use BB Cream. It's just not thick enough to notice. My skin is generally fair (or VERY fair, so as ppl say). I don't really have blemishes. BUT (why is there always a but!?), I have blackheads. So BB Cream is good enough for me.

 

10: I'm hungry now.

 

Will stop here 'cause there's nothing I can think of.

Here's a handsome guy for you.

Sehun, 'cause I'm still in love with my dream.

A picture of him with broccoli hair cause he hasn't earned enough karma points from me.

Poor Sehun. Probably the worse hair colour in history. Even the rainbow hair looks fine.

This is just... Sehun, are you a farmer? Or did you drop into vegetable dye?

How do Koreans look so mature? He's a few months younger than me.

1994 people are seriously the best. I am so biased.